Another Housework Excuse

I'm going to embark up a new journey...  Learning to knit.  Why do I wish to torture my arthritic fingers? (I'm 32.  I should not have arthritis.  This is ridiculous.)

First of all, I need a mobile hobby that I can do during my daughter's volleyball and soccer practices.  Lately I've had a desire to do something with tangible results. Plus, it would take my mind off of the pains in my back and a** while I'm sitting on the bleachers.  The cellulitic padding on my ample rear end is doing nothing to cushion the stress of flat, narrow, wooden seating.  Bleachers are bleachers and they are a pain in the a** no matter how much padding you have.

Secondly, I want table runners for our dining table and mantle.  I want to knit things I can point to when people are shocked at the amount of laundry waiting to be folded.  "Why yes, I do suck at housework.  But look at the original piece I did in art class and the runners that I knit myself... while you were dusting your Pier 1 pictures"  I would say with a smirk.  But I would only think it, because as b*tchy as my thoughts are, I'm nearly incapable of being verbally snarky.

http://www.kazcartoonstore.com/girls-cartoons/gs0051lg.gif

Don't get me wrong, I love Pier 1.  The picture we currently have over our mantle is from Pier One and there's nothing wrong with it.  We simply prefer to decorate with things that represent us.  Our dining room walls are covered in paintings that the children and I have done in art classes, and I recently did a couple of paintings for our living room.  My home will never be magazine-spread worthy, but it represents us and it gives our kids a sense of pride to have their artwork prominently on display.  Also, this is why I don't mind having a holiday tree in the corner.  It's a nice complement to rest of our eclectic decor.  Alas, now I must find knitting instructions.