Tuesday Cube Letter- Your E-mail Priveleges Have Been Revoked

Dearest Cube Neighbor,

I appreciate your realizing that I need a break from work occasionally, but 5 forwarded e-mails in 5 minutes is a bit over the top, don't you think?  It is almost impossible for you to receive that many funny or impressive e-mails in one day, let alone 5 minutes.  So, let's lay down some guidelines, shall we?

1.  Any male v. female joke that ends in "and he was never heard from again" is overdone. 
     Let that joke die already

2.  Anything that implies that God created woman in order to punish or annoy man is offensive.
     That goes double for anything that implies that woman was created to cook or fetch beer for man.  I realize these are written tongue-in-cheek and I'm not without a sense of humor, but one joke about it was mildly tolerable.  Now it's just offensive.  Again, let that joke die already

3.  Anything you send that includes an attachment is automatically deleted
     I'm not impressed by the wv and pp files of "impressive" destinations/chalk drawings/guys getting their balls smashed in.  I've seen them all and they're no different than the ones you sent to me last week... or the previous 104 weeks

4.  If it supplies medical advice and/or warnings, it is almost certainly false.
     Do you truly believe that drinking cold water immediately after a meal will cause a heart-attack?  Are you f*cking kidding me?

5.  If it relays your (or anyone else's) opinion on politics, don't bother hitting send.  I don't give a sh*t.
     I'm not a Republican an no amount of slanderous e-mails about Obama will erase the fact that Rick Perry is a D*Bag


Any e-mail that matches the criteria above should not be sent to me.  Or anyone else.  When in doubt, don't hit send.  Although, if you're sending these kind of e-mails in the first place, apparently your judgement is a bit off.  You know what?  F*ck it.  I'm just going to ask HR to revoke your e-mail sending priveleges.


Sincerely,

Your E-mail Etiquette Observing Neighbor